My baby is now 7 months, and five months has passed since I last written my thoughts here. Finding a balance between my personal life and my baby's needs is quite a challenge for me. He's become very clingy and now knows how to throw tantrums. As a new mom, I am torn between the battle of an-always-present-mom vs. hoping-not-to-raise-a-brat-child situation. 

My boys are sleeping as I write now, and midnight has been my alone/personal time recently. They say that when your baby is asleep, sleep with them. But nothing in that saying is true because there are tons of things that you can accomplish once the baby is in his dreamland. By tons I meant cleaning the bottles, fixing the bed, washing clothes, picking up toys, taking a shower, preparing food, and all sorts of mommy duties you can think of. That's why when midnight comes, it's either I rest together with my boys or take advantage of the time for myself. 

It's tough being a mom. You are not just taking care of yourself. In fact, you take care of your baby more than yourself. It's like playing Tamagotchi but is way more difficult than pressing buttons and waiting for it to beep again. I have respected my mom ever since and am now respecting her and all other moms for doing a job well done for raising a child.

Despite all the tiring mum duties, the endless bottle cleaning, losing your voice for making weird noises and faces, trying to keep edible-looking stuff clean and safe, putting him to bed for and hour and cradling him again after 15 minutes and putting him back again to bed, preparing his food, keeping his diaper and milk close at hand, and just trying to keep everything in order, I am still very very very very much grateful to have been a mom. I will always look at this as a blessing and not a heavy load. :)

This is the reason why at the end of the day I feel both exhausted and happy. Cheers to all the mums out there! 

Happy mom, 

B.