We thought of this snack randomly and we were surprised that it was a hit to the family. It's a simple dish yet a mouth-watering experience! 

Ingredients:

Ground meat (chicken, pork or beef, your choice)

Tomatoes

Onions

Grated cheese (Eden)

Taco Powder

Pita bread

Procedure:

1. Cook meat in taco flavor. Follow instructions at the back of packet.

2. Dice tomatoes and onions separately. Season tomatoes (salsa) with salt ad sugar.

3. Grate cheese.

4. Assemble on pita bread:

        Fold pita bread in half. 

        Put meat, onions and cheese on one part of bread. Put generous amounts of ingredients. :)

        Fold bread. 

       

Although nothing special happened, last weekend felt unusual. Maybe it's the way I looked at things and how on every aspect I found peace, happiness and contentment. 

Sometimes we look at more of the negativity around us and tend to forget all the beautiful things that God has never failed to offer us. Believe me, there will always be something to be thankful for - another day to live, meals that we had, comfort of our homes, presence of family, clothes that we wore, laughs that we had, etc. 

Looking at where I am now, I don't think I will ever get tired of thanking God. I prayed for this life and sometimes it feels surreal that what I used to pray for is now in my hands. I am just so lucky that I didn't need to wait for a long time to have my prayers granted. 

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me everything that I once hoped for. In fact, thank you for giving me more than enough. I share my gratitude to those who are in sorrow and in seek of happiness. I pray that they will not lose faith in waiting for their granted prayers in Your time. 

Amen. 

Overwhelmed with life,

B.

Caleb and I have established our day-to-day activities and this is our most recent routine:

7 AM - Have breakfast with Daddy before he goes to work.

730 AM - Plays around the house (this is the dirty part).

8 AM - Takes a bath.

830 AM - Plays in the play pen (clean area).

12 NN - Lunch (if he isn't sleeping yet).

1230 PM - Takes a nap

230 or 3 PM - Wakes up 

3PM - Plays in the play pen.

530 or 6 PM - Have dinner. He's very tired at this time from playing.

630 PM - Takes a bath.

7 PM - Sleeps until 6 in the morning the next day. 

So, majority of the day he's awake and active. And this is the stage where he doesn't want to be left alone that's why there isn't much that I am able to accomplish for myself. I get lucky sometimes if I'll be able to take a quick shower in the morning. If not, everything for myself is done when he's fully asleep - night time.

It takes a lot of patience when you look after your baby especially if you are the type (this is me) who wants things to be accomplished at once rather than putting them aside for later. 

Despite all these, I enjoy looking at Caleb play - throw, bang, lick, eat things; practice crawling, sitting, standing and walking; cry from time to time because he gets bored; calls your attention to play with him; drinks milk to recharge and then he's back ok his feet. 

This is how he looks like while having a good day in his play pen. 

When you become a mom, you think and live for two people. You make important decisions that will benefit your child more than you do. You put yourself second and your child as your priority. That has always been the mantra. That's why sometimes I have been undecisive up to the last minute. I am torn between I CAN and I SHOULDN'T. 

Today is one of those undecisive days and I made the wrong decision...again. It just hurts that when people tell me off about that wrong move, I tend to feel stupid. I tend to think that people think I put myself first before my baby. Maybe it affects me because I know that it was and will never be my intention. And if I knew that that would happen I wouldn't have put ourselves (baby and I) in that situation in the first place. I'm not that kind of mom who would have drinks at night rather than put her babies to bed. 

My child IS my priority and I have accustomed myself to that for the past months. It's not about myself anymore but about him already. 

I realized that while making those decisions, one thing is in common - doubt. Weighing the pros and cons itself is doubt. And that doubt has never failed to give me bad results. 

So now...

When in doubt, always say no. 

A little hurt, 

B.

My baby is now 7 months, and five months has passed since I last written my thoughts here. Finding a balance between my personal life and my baby's needs is quite a challenge for me. He's become very clingy and now knows how to throw tantrums. As a new mom, I am torn between the battle of an-always-present-mom vs. hoping-not-to-raise-a-brat-child situation. 

My boys are sleeping as I write now, and midnight has been my alone/personal time recently. They say that when your baby is asleep, sleep with them. But nothing in that saying is true because there are tons of things that you can accomplish once the baby is in his dreamland. By tons I meant cleaning the bottles, fixing the bed, washing clothes, picking up toys, taking a shower, preparing food, and all sorts of mommy duties you can think of. That's why when midnight comes, it's either I rest together with my boys or take advantage of the time for myself. 

It's tough being a mom. You are not just taking care of yourself. In fact, you take care of your baby more than yourself. It's like playing Tamagotchi but is way more difficult than pressing buttons and waiting for it to beep again. I have respected my mom ever since and am now respecting her and all other moms for doing a job well done for raising a child.

Despite all the tiring mum duties, the endless bottle cleaning, losing your voice for making weird noises and faces, trying to keep edible-looking stuff clean and safe, putting him to bed for and hour and cradling him again after 15 minutes and putting him back again to bed, preparing his food, keeping his diaper and milk close at hand, and just trying to keep everything in order, I am still very very very very much grateful to have been a mom. I will always look at this as a blessing and not a heavy load. :)

This is the reason why at the end of the day I feel both exhausted and happy. Cheers to all the mums out there! 

Happy mom, 

B.

They say that having a baby is a pile of adjustments. Yet again, this is true. Vincent and I have a different set-up compared to usual couples who've had their first child. We aren't married yet, so, there's a lot of adaptation to do from both parties. 

Things to adapt with:

1. Take care of the baby. This includes: having sleepless nights; knowing your kid's needs; buying more baby stuff you didn't know that exist; proper cradling, bathing and feeding.

2. Knowing what's right for your little one. Here and there you'll hear things like "dapat ganito", "dapat ganyan" from people who try to help you with parenting. It can be a little confusing sometimes since some advice are contradicting. Always remember that you are the mother and you know what's best for your cutie. 

3. The pressure of breastfeeding. A mom's milk is very important. But what would you do if you've tried real hard to breastfeed but there isn't any milk coming out? Be ready for the people who will push you to do it. My milk came out four days after giving birth. 

3. Take care of yourself. I didn't want to look losyang after giving birth so I try to look good as long as I can. But, when you have a baby, a quick shower and a quick dump of poo is already a pleasure. Meaning, 80% of your time is mostly spent for your baby. The luxury of combing my hair happens only after I've taken a bath. 

4. Take care of your partner. I have two roles now - a mother and a wife. Technically speaking, I am not a wife yet, but that is not an excuse for playing my role. As much as possible, I want to provide the things that comforts my fiance. From simply serving him during meal time to physically and emotionally being there whenever he has a story or a rant to tell. 

5. Adjust with two homes. Since we don't have our own place yet, we decided to live with both our families. How? On weekdays we stay at my place and on weekends we stay at his. These are two families that we need to adjust with. Complying with house rules, showing respect, keeping our area clean and keeping ourselves from interfering with their daily routines is a must. I find this a good opportunity to know and bond with the in-laws. :)

6. Entertaining visitors. Everyone's excited about your baby. Friends, relatives and even distant people would like to see your first born. It may be a little challenging to prepare and entertain your visitors while trying to answer the needs of your baby. Don't get me wrong, we love having visitors and it's good to see that your newborn already feels loved and welcomed. :) 

Having all of these really make the first month a real challenge. Don't worry, you'll learn to adapt and eventually the cry of your baby will become a  pleasure to your ears. :)

Adjusted mom,

B.

December 17, 2013

Okay, so this was the day I thought was the end of my life. It's true - labor is really painful!

The doctor advised me to go straight to the hospital if any of the three signs arise: bleeding, a sudden gush of water and consistent contractions. It was 6 am on a Tuesday when I got up from bed and went to the toilet to pee. I was still a little sleepy when I saw blood in the bowl. I did not panic because I've waited for that day to happen. I was really feeling uncomfortable days before giving birth and I just want my baby to come out.

My mom and sister were panicking while they contact Vincent and the doctor. I, for the record, decided to take a bath. Haha! I realized I didn't have any idea on what's going to happen next, or how long labor will be, or whether I'll be giving birth on that day or not, so I better be hygienically prepared for whatever it is to come. Plus, having a bath makes me comfortable. :)

I went into labor for 12 hours. I was only 1cm when I got there and my contractions were just starting to be in consistent intervals. I did not feel anything at all. I don't know the feeling of contractions so I just relied on the machine that monitors it. While waiting for the big event, a woman came in crying of pain. I was watching her as her doctor examines her and teaches her how to push. Thirty minutes after, I heard her baby cry! She's one lucky girl.

I felt really hungry while waiting (didn't have breakfast and it was lunch time already!) so I begged the nurses to allow me to eat. Water wasn't even allowed so I was really feeling restless. I said to myself, how will I push my baby if I didn't have energy to do so, right? :)

I slowly felt the contractions as I progress from 1cm to 3cms. It was already painful for me whose pain tolerance was too low. The doctor then gave me a sedative (I caught my baby giggling while he sleeps as I write this). At around 5pm I was regularly woken up by my contractions, it was that painful that even my sedative lost its effect. I overheard the nurses talk to the doctor over the phone that I was only 5cms at that time and that I was in agony. Here's the scenario: I wake up feeling like I need to go to the toilet and have a big poo, my body voluntarily curls up to lessen the pain then I semi-consciously catch myself saying, "Ang sakit!" This happened several times.

I then found myself being transferred to the delivery room. I saw many medical staff look at me as I cry. I will never forget the feeling of extreme contractions! 

Luckily, I made the best decision ever - to deliver unconsciously. Thank God our body was made to do its own job even if you are sedated. I didn't care much of knowing the feeling of pushing and hearing your baby cry, although I know it would have been a different story, but I just don't think I'll be able to endure the pain. 

So the magic sedative was injected and I dozed off and didn't feel anything. Half of me was thinking I'll just wait for God to pick my soul up, and the other was waiting for reality to come to life again. 

At around past 11pm, I was awaken by a loud voice saying, "Ma'am Jessica, tapos na po, gising na." And then first thing I felt was a pain in my ass. I knew I was stitched. Before I left the recovery room, there he was, my little angel, was brought to me by the nurse. He was so cute, has a white complexion and was so tiny. My thoughts were: I can't believe he came from me. I can't believe I made it through that excruciating pain. I can't believe I'm still alive...and that...I AM A SUPER WOMAN! 

Me trying to breastfeed for the first time.

To the future moms out there, I'm warning you to gather a lot of courage, patience, strength, and good health. You will need all of these not only on your delivery day but also for the days to come after. 

Mom for two months now, 

B.

*Super late post*

November 23, 2013

A surprise baby shower was prepared for me by my friends and family on the 8th month of my pregnancy. Oh how I felt so loved during that day! It was a simple shower comprised of my family, Vincent's family and my barkada. Everything was prepared just as how I pictured it to be. I am greatly thankful for all the people involved for making this event happen. Caleb already felt welcomed to the outside world! :)

Happy mommy, 

B.