December 17, 2013

Okay, so this was the day I thought was the end of my life. It's true - labor is really painful!

The doctor advised me to go straight to the hospital if any of the three signs arise: bleeding, a sudden gush of water and consistent contractions. It was 6 am on a Tuesday when I got up from bed and went to the toilet to pee. I was still a little sleepy when I saw blood in the bowl. I did not panic because I've waited for that day to happen. I was really feeling uncomfortable days before giving birth and I just want my baby to come out.

My mom and sister were panicking while they contact Vincent and the doctor. I, for the record, decided to take a bath. Haha! I realized I didn't have any idea on what's going to happen next, or how long labor will be, or whether I'll be giving birth on that day or not, so I better be hygienically prepared for whatever it is to come. Plus, having a bath makes me comfortable. :)

I went into labor for 12 hours. I was only 1cm when I got there and my contractions were just starting to be in consistent intervals. I did not feel anything at all. I don't know the feeling of contractions so I just relied on the machine that monitors it. While waiting for the big event, a woman came in crying of pain. I was watching her as her doctor examines her and teaches her how to push. Thirty minutes after, I heard her baby cry! She's one lucky girl.

I felt really hungry while waiting (didn't have breakfast and it was lunch time already!) so I begged the nurses to allow me to eat. Water wasn't even allowed so I was really feeling restless. I said to myself, how will I push my baby if I didn't have energy to do so, right? :)

I slowly felt the contractions as I progress from 1cm to 3cms. It was already painful for me whose pain tolerance was too low. The doctor then gave me a sedative (I caught my baby giggling while he sleeps as I write this). At around 5pm I was regularly woken up by my contractions, it was that painful that even my sedative lost its effect. I overheard the nurses talk to the doctor over the phone that I was only 5cms at that time and that I was in agony. Here's the scenario: I wake up feeling like I need to go to the toilet and have a big poo, my body voluntarily curls up to lessen the pain then I semi-consciously catch myself saying, "Ang sakit!" This happened several times.

I then found myself being transferred to the delivery room. I saw many medical staff look at me as I cry. I will never forget the feeling of extreme contractions! 

Luckily, I made the best decision ever - to deliver unconsciously. Thank God our body was made to do its own job even if you are sedated. I didn't care much of knowing the feeling of pushing and hearing your baby cry, although I know it would have been a different story, but I just don't think I'll be able to endure the pain. 

So the magic sedative was injected and I dozed off and didn't feel anything. Half of me was thinking I'll just wait for God to pick my soul up, and the other was waiting for reality to come to life again. 

At around past 11pm, I was awaken by a loud voice saying, "Ma'am Jessica, tapos na po, gising na." And then first thing I felt was a pain in my ass. I knew I was stitched. Before I left the recovery room, there he was, my little angel, was brought to me by the nurse. He was so cute, has a white complexion and was so tiny. My thoughts were: I can't believe he came from me. I can't believe I made it through that excruciating pain. I can't believe I'm still alive...and that...I AM A SUPER WOMAN! 

Me trying to breastfeed for the first time.

To the future moms out there, I'm warning you to gather a lot of courage, patience, strength, and good health. You will need all of these not only on your delivery day but also for the days to come after. 

Mom for two months now, 

B.