When I got pregnant with my second child, my firstborn was just 9 months old. The first thing I asked myself was, "Kaya ko ba?" Just thinking about going through pregnancy, labor and delivery the second time around made me nervous. Of course, the bigger dilemma was, "Will my sanity be able to handle two kids with different needs?" I prayed and held on to my faith that God puts you in a situation because He knows that you can surpass it. 

So, here are some things that I learned on my journey to raising two kids in close age gap. 

When my baby bump started to show, I didn't know if my 1-year old noticed or was curious about it. I told him that his baby brother was inside and I constantly asked him to kiss and pet my tummy. Soon, when I asked where his baby brother was, he happily points at my bump.  

As I carried Yuri with me on his first night at home, I saw that Caleb was curious and as if full of questions he couldn't say. The initial thing we told him was, "This is your baby brother. Give him a kiss." As expected, he refused. The next day, I tried again and he obeyed. From then on, kissing Yuri was like a form of play to him. I think that the way parents introduce their kids for the first time is really important. Kissing (affection) as their first activity together programs Caleb's mind that his younger brother is someone dear and close at heart. 

Since Caleb is only 1 year old, my fear was that he might not understand me yet. I was wrong. Our Kuya comprehends really well. I can ask him to swing the duyan, shake the bottle of milk, hand me a diaper (or anything else he could carry), and even delay our playtime until his sibling falls asleep. Being involved gives him a sense of responsibility towards his brother, and that is what we want him to remember. 

This is the most important part for me. You have to be able to form a schedule that will benefit both of them, making sure that they have enough time for play and sleep. Caleb gets tired and is ready for bed after 5 long hours of play. Yuri, on the other hand, still doesn't have a pattern to follow. He is mostly awake in the morning (naps for about 30 minutes or less) and asleep at 6pm onwards (yey! More things to do for me). I managed to make a routine that allows me to rest as early as 8pm, right on time for dinner and teleseryes. Hehe. Having a schedule will give not only my children but also us parents, a stress-free day. Remember, it's not a privilege to run around the house like a zombie at 10pm because your child refuses to sleep! Also, make sure to get plenty of 'me' time on your sched, right when the babies are at their dreamland. 

"May I have a relaxed day ahead. Please shower me with patience and understanding." This is my prayer before I start my day. A baby plus a toddler can really be mind-blowing at times. It's a test of how much you can control yourself. I believe that the way I carry myself from the moment I wake up will affect my children's mood throughout the day. I don't want to be the monster mom my children have to deal with just because I didn't have a good night's sleep or because I was too mad at petty things. Your inner self has to be better than the rage of emotions that you will have. It's all about setting my mind that "Today is a good day. I won't lose my temper even if situations ask me to."

It's natural for parents to be overly protective even if it's the other child who may cause harm. "Huwag ka nga diyan, tatamaan mo kapatid mo!"; "Go to the room and play with your toys." are just examples of the daily dialogue of parents. As much as possible parents don't want the older child to be near the delicate baby. While parents mean no harm, it might have a different effect on the older sibling. I allow Caleb to touch Yuri all the time, of course, under my supervision. I only stop him when I know that despite his intentions to be playful, it might also be dangerous for Yuri (putting his toes on Yuri's nose for him to smell, pokes Yuri's eyes, nose and ears out of curiosity, jumps non-stop right where Yuri is peacefully laid down). The freedom to have close contact with the baby gives Caleb the  concept of having a place in his brother's life. That way, he won't feel outcasted now that Mom and Dad are too focused on the new addition to the family. 

Here are some of the guidelines I managed to form that helps me get through the everyday hustle of having a baby and a toddler. The rest are yet to be discovered! 

Today I made Chicken Curry. My husband loves curry so I might as well try making one for him. It's my first attempt and I found a way to make it in a short time. I used McCormick's Yellow Curry Mix which I found in the grocery. It has simple instructions: brown the chicken, dilute the powder, pour in chicken, add coconut milk and simmer. I had some revisions because I didn't want to end up with malansang chicken. So, I happily sauted it in garlic, onions, ginger and fish sauce. Then I added eggplants for the veggie factor. Instead of coconut milk (which I don't have), I used all purpose cream. I don't know if that's acceptable but it's all I have. 

I tasted it and there's something odd or missing for me, but I didn't want to add anything else because I might destroy the supposed flavor of the curry mix. Hopefully, when my husband eats it tonight, he'll approve of it. 

I'm happy that I was able to spend some hours with my good friend whom I haven't seen for a long time. We talked about each other's current life status and I'm glad that she's at a better state now. She used to visit me and cry herself to sleep, but today she was like the same person back in college - happy and contented. 

Yanna is a friend who despite the distance and time apart, we remain friends. You know that she's being sincere when she tells you she's happy for you, no judgements, no backstabbing. That's what I like about her. She's like a sponge that absorbs all my stories whether they're good or bad. :)

I'm lucky to have found a friend in her and I know that we'll remain friends until we get old. Until our next bonding, Yanna! :)

Like others, Valentine's Day is something I look forward to. It's because I know that it's supposed to be a day spent with your partner. I fancy any kind of 'date' as long as Vincent and I are together. I'm not the kind who prefers (although I'd be glad to have one) a formal, candle lit dinner, or a surprise getaway. Vincent is not that type so I guess I just got used to it aside from the fact that that isn't really my personality as well. But who doesn't want a romantic, all-in date right? :) 

Last year, we managed to ask my mother-in-law to look after our two-month old Caleb. We had an expensive Japanese dinner at Mr. Kurosawa. The part that I got really smitten was when I received a bouquet of flowers from Vincent via email. I was smiling the whole day. He isn't really sweet by nature so little acts like this makes me really 'kilig'! 

This year was a lot simpler. No bouquets, no cards, no surprises. We had the night to ourselves and celebrated the love day satisfying our Mexican craving and strolling around the mall just like what we used do when we were still boyfriend and girlfriend. It felt really refreshing to be alone with my husband even for a short time. No baby to look after and finally, a decent and peaceful meal (no baby to try to control his tantrums).

Thanks to my reliable sister who took care of Caleb that night. She knows hat I've been waiting for that 'date night' so she was really very supportive about it. 

Married life is new to me as well as parenthood. But one thing's for sure, couples should always have time for each other. It's important that we don't lose that spark just because we are preoccupied with household duties and responsibilities. There's no harm in asking your relatives from time to time to look after your kids even for just a couple of hours...or more! :)

I think Caleb is aware that his father is around too because he refused to follow our daily routine. He's excited that he was up from 7:30 AM to 2:30 PM. He usually takes his afternoon naps at around 12 NN, but now that Vincent is around, I think he wanted to spend time with him. 

I could see in his eyes that he's starting to get tired and sleepy but still opted to play. I had to carry him and make him sleep or else he'd end up taking a nap at around 5 PM and would wake up at 8 PM, which usually is his bedtime. 

I believe that setting a routine for your baby is helpful because you get to plan your day. I'm a control freak and I always want to have a set plan for the day. Just by seeing that Caleb and I are able to follow our daily routine makes me comfortable (at least I get to know the times when I can relax and have some time for myself). 

Although that routine changes as he grows up, it still is a good idea to set one. I find it a healthy tool to make sure that my baby gets a balanced sleep and play activities everyday. 

Experimenting on food is a great hobby to satisfy not only myself but the entire family as well. :)

I remember having a grown-up conversation with my friends while we were literally behind the flowing water of a beautiful falls in Oslob, Cebu where each of us were supposed to answer the question "How would you rate your life today?" I confidently answered 9 out of 10. Actually, I could give 10 but I know that it's always best to give room for improvement. It might sound exaggerated but that's how I feel at the moment. 

When I have bad days, like days when I sometimes get fed up with motherly duties, I never fail to see how blessed I am for the life that I have today. And I just can't stop thanking God for granting me my long-time prayer - to have a family with the love of my life. 

And before I let the stress out of my system in a negative way, I stop, breathe and remember over and over how beautiful my life is. Then in an instant all the negativity disappears.

Prayer:

I cannot thank you enough for blessing me with a beautiful family. May we be a good example to others, especially to families that are troubled. Amen.