Sometimes I miss having my personal space. Those days when I can just lay in bed and peacefully close my eyes; sit in a sofa and read a book; or just blankly stare for a few minutes.

Today, I am being touched by my children for the entire day. I am not against it. In fact, it melts my heart to see them longing for me. But there are days when I just feel like having the time all for myself - even for just a few minutes (15 minutes can be heaven to me). 

This is what happens every day: 

I have my eyes on both my kids all the time. Caleb's form of play is through throwing his toys everywhere - yes, even at me or worse at Yuri. So, I have to be the living shield of Yuri against all flying objects because Caleb is just unstoppable. Sometimes when I'm not looking, Caleb would push Yuri making him painfully distressed because he fell head first. There are times when I catch Yuri munching on pieces of cardboard from one of the flash cards. Caleb can be really into 'off limits' stuff like pens, pencils, papers, etc. which he somehow finds ways to reach from the table. 

You see, there are lots of things that could happen if I close my eyes for a quick nap while the kids are playing. If I did, one of them would end up hurting the other. Of course, every mom wants a tantrum-free environment so it's always best to prevent such circumstances. 

My point is, I get tired too. Others think that there's nothing so difficult about staying home and looking after a child. Whoever you are, you're wrong. Be my guest and take care of my children. Let's see if you'd even have a tangle-free hair at the end of the day. 

I get too tired that all I want is to sit and relax for just a little time - a time all for myself. But no, I sit in an inviting sofa and my toddler sits beside me. I lay down and my little one crawls over my face and body, worst part is when my toddler jumps on me. It isn't the most relaxing position for me so far. I could end up with broken bones. 

The 15-minute serenity is non-existent at least until my children graduate from toddlerhood. I have no other choice but to enjoy every clinging, carrying and body-hurting affection of my children. They say, this too shall pass and day will come when I'll miss every exhausting moments while taking care of my two boys.