Toddler and a Baby?

1:22 AM



When I got pregnant with my second child, my firstborn was just 9 months old. The first thing I asked myself was, "Kaya ko ba?" Just thinking about going through pregnancy, labor and delivery the second time around made me nervous. Of course, the bigger dilemma was, "Will my sanity be able to handle two kids with different needs?" I prayed and held on to my faith that God puts you in a situation because He knows that you can surpass it. 

So, here are some things that I learned on my journey to raising two kids in close age gap. 

• Introduce your older child at an early stage.
When my baby bump started to show, I didn't know if my 1-year old noticed or was curious about it. I told him that his baby brother was inside and I constantly asked him to kiss and pet my tummy. Soon, when I asked where his baby brother was, he happily points at my bump.  

• First meet-up is vital.
As I carried Yuri with me on his first night at home, I saw that Caleb was curious and as if full of questions he couldn't say. The initial thing we told him was, "This is your baby brother. Give him a kiss." As expected, he refused. The next day, I tried again and he obeyed. From then on, kissing Yuri was like a form of play to him. I think that the way parents introduce their kids for the first time is really important. Kissing (affection) as their first activity together programs Caleb's mind that his younger brother is someone dear and close at heart. 

• Keep the older one involved.
Since Caleb is only 1 year old, my fear was that he might not understand me yet. I was wrong. Our Kuya comprehends really well. I can ask him to swing the duyan, shake the bottle of milk, hand me a diaper (or anything else he could carry), and even delay our playtime until his sibling falls asleep. Being involved gives him a sense of responsibility towards his brother, and that is what we want him to remember. 

• Follow a routine.
This is the most important part for me. You have to be able to form a schedule that will benefit both of them, making sure that they have enough time for play and sleep. Caleb gets tired and is ready for bed after 5 long hours of play. Yuri, on the other hand, still doesn't have a pattern to follow. He is mostly awake in the morning (naps for about 30 minutes or less) and asleep at 6pm onwards (yey! More things to do for me). I managed to make a routine that allows me to rest as early as 8pm, right on time for dinner and teleseryes. Hehe. Having a schedule will give not only my children but also us parents, a stress-free day. Remember, it's not a privilege to run around the house like a zombie at 10pm because your child refuses to sleep! Also, make sure to get plenty of 'me' time on your sched, right when the babies are at their dreamland. 

• Composure is the key.
"May I have a relaxed day ahead. Please shower me with patience and understanding." This is my prayer before I start my day. A baby plus a toddler can really be mind-blowing at times. It's a test of how much you can control yourself. I believe that the way I carry myself from the moment I wake up will affect my children's mood throughout the day. I don't want to be the monster mom my children have to deal with just because I didn't have a good night's sleep or because I was too mad at petty things. Your inner self has to be better than the rage of emotions that you will have. It's all about setting my mind that "Today is a good day. I won't lose my temper even if situations ask me to."

.Avoid the distance.
It's natural for parents to be overly protective even if it's the other child who may cause harm. "Huwag ka nga diyan, tatamaan mo kapatid mo!"; "Go to the room and play with your toys." are just examples of the daily dialogue of parents. As much as possible parents don't want the older child to be near the delicate baby. While parents mean no harm, it might have a different effect on the older sibling. I allow Caleb to touch Yuri all the time, of course, under my supervision. I only stop him when I know that despite his intentions to be playful, it might also be dangerous for Yuri (putting his toes on Yuri's nose for him to smell, pokes Yuri's eyes, nose and ears out of curiosity, jumps non-stop right where Yuri is peacefully laid down). The freedom to have close contact with the baby gives Caleb the  concept of having a place in his brother's life. That way, he won't feel outcasted now that Mom and Dad are too focused on the new addition to the family. 

Here are some of the guidelines I managed to form that helps me get through the everyday hustle of having a baby and a toddler. The rest are yet to be discovered! 

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