There comes a time in your life when you just feel like quitting. The feeling of getting exhausted with everything that has to be done but there’s just so little time.  Parang nakikipaghabulan ka sa oras and all you just want to do is to get away from all the stress you’re going through.

My mind tells me to go on. To do this and do that, to finish this and start the other right after. My mind tells me I can do it, but sometimes my body just can’t. You know you are under stress when you lie on bed and try to get some sleep, and all of a sudden you cry. Maybe it’s a combination of stress and tiredness, or maybe my mind is under complete anxiety. Sometimes I think that it’s all in my mind, that I just think too much putting more pressure and stress on myself.

Right now, I am exhausted and worried for my future. Sometimes I ask myself, “Ano ba tong pinaggagagawa ko sa sarili ko.”

From now on, I will regain myself. I have always been optimistic (but sometimes you just fail) and I know that this is just a part of the challenge. I know that one day, every hardships and tears spent will pay off. I know that God is always beside me to give me strength. It’s hard to be away from family on times like these, but it’s good to have friends around. And thanks to cyber world, people I love are just a message away.

Haay. Few more steps and you’re done, B! I can do this!

*Photos from Tumblr*

Feeling down yet hopeful,

B.

Time has gone by so fast. Faster than what I expected it to be. Darkness fills the street at 6pm and temperature starts to drop at 17 degrees. This only means one thing; winter is right around the corner! It was winter when I first arrived in the Land Down Under. I can’t believe that I’ve been living here for almost a year now.  Everything went by quickly, and fortunately, according to how I pictured it to be.

Four months from now my visa will expire. At present, I have no idea what will happen to me. It’s either I get a job and stay here or fly back to the Philippines. I don’t know. Only God knows. I can feel the pressure now that I only have five more weeks to finish my lectures and assignments. After that, I need to complete few more weeks of placement and I’m officially done! Seriously, ang bilis nalang non!

I’m at that moment when you just want to do everything at the same time. Psychology ‘Juno’ essay, Ethics essay, Rationale Development Exercise, extra readings and placement. Just get it over with! Add to it my desire of earning money through my part-time jobs. If only I could do everything without risking myself of getting sick and having unfairly marks. Meron pa pala, the anxiety of trying to get a job after I finish Uni is so high. I have to compete with so many nursing students so as not to get myself deported back home without achieving anything after those months of hard work.

The pressure is ON.

One thing that gives me continuous strength for this fight is my faith in God (Apart from my family and loved ones, of course). I know He has planned everything for me in such a way that after the difficult times come success and happiness. I have so much faith that there’s a part of me that isn’t that scared and terrified. Besides, I wouldn’t have reached this far for nothing.

One thing’s for sure, no matter what happens in 4 months time I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE REGRETS for doing such a brave act.

Let Your will always be done.

*PS. I miss my Paps and everyone back home.*

*Photos from Tumblr*

Love,

B.

Have you ever felt like you’re not on your best foot whenever you think you’re on your worst clothes? I do. That’s why whenever my friends and I have the chance to porma and magmaganda, we make it a point that we do. Dressing-up is one of my favorite things to do! :)

TOP-SECRET-NO-MORE:

You can always look good in the cheapest clothes you can find in your wardrobe.

Who said looking best comes hand in hand with branded clothes? I don’t think so. 

Whenever I enter a clothes shop, I go straight to the ‘SALE’ rack. Always. I ignore all the newly-arrived and what’s hot products, and go scan the clearance sale stand. And if in any case I find something I like on one of the mannequins, I wait until it comes up on sale. :D

Being a student and a casual employee, money is a tight thing for me. Saving is my priority. But looking good comes next. *wink*

My shopping budget for clothes ranges only from $5 to $10. $15 is a debate for me – bibilhin o hindi?!, and it would take me ages to come up with a non-guilt decision.  I also go to thrift shops, especially when I was in Manila. I feel challenged whenever I go there, and finding good stuff makes me really proud. Lucky, Aussies have thrift shops as well. Again, same budget applies. :)

Hand-me-downs are also great! My cousin clears her closet from time to time and before she brings her unwanted clothes to thrift shops, she gives it to us (her sisters and I). It’s good because it’s free, clean, damage-free and branded.

Dress up. Sport your confidence. Feel gorgeous and beautiful.

Nasa nagdadala lang yan. JJJJ

Feeling model, 

B. :)

Easter here is simple, quiet and compared to what I grew up with, they paid so much attention to Easter bunnies and Easter eggs. There were tons of Easter bunnies in shopping centers and I thought, “What’s the point of bunnies?” For me bunnies resemble the adult-only Playboy magazine. Haha. But no, it’s tradition here that Easter bunnies give Easter eggs to children. It’s like Santa in a different season.

I’m not a fan of chocolates and I have this feeling that my chocolate Easter eggs will last for at least 3 months before I finish them, or I might end up giving them away. The point is, this choc-egg-giving is a new thing for me, and at some point I felt like I was a kid again. :)

On Black Saturday, my cousins and I went to Bracegirlde's, one of the best coffee place in Adelaide. This is Hot Dark Chocolate Mocha. It's THE best! 

However, it was during those days that I missed my family’s usual Holy Week bonding. I kept myself updated on what my family is up to through FB and Instagram. I almost died of jealousy. Hahaha!  Here's what I missed: 

Kapampangan's version of Jesus' last hours. 

I hope next year will be little more exciting for me, but wherever I am I'll definitley get myself some Easter Eggs! :) 

*Photos from my sisters and cousin.*

B.