The Down Under Challenge
1:29 AM |
| Okay, hindi ako diyan pupunta. Sa Adelaide. :) |
This is it! My visa has been approved and am booked to fly on July 6. When I read the email IDP sent me, I didn’t know what to feel. I had mixed emotions. Part of me was (or should I say, is still) scared, excited and sad all at the same time. I wonder where the happy part was. Seriously, I felt like fainting. I felt the butterflies in my stomach and my hands started trembling. Oh, not to mention the part when my eyes got all teary.
The process of waiting for the visa to be approved wasn’t scary at all. I was enjoying my bum days at home with my family or sometimes with friends. It felt like I was on a vacation. Parang nung wala lang akong work after my graduation. So, the moment I got THE letter, it all sunk in to me. Eto na yun eh. The things I’ve been praying for are now finally in front of my face, waiting for me to take them in. There’s no turning back.
A yearlong of preparation doesn’t seem to be enough to put me in order emotionally and physically (I am spiritually prepared, though). There were countless times when I wake up in the morning and cry. I even cry in the shower, or while aboard a tricycle on my way to work. I’d even weep myself to sleep in some nights. There were also instances when I badly wanted to back out and forget all about it. Sometimes I’d say to myself, “What if I take up a different field instead?” then at the back of my mind I’d say, “Ano naman kaya yun?” or “I’d take all the chances of becoming a nurse here in the Philippines.” then I’ll say “Tatanda na ako nun wala parin akong ipon.”
IT WAS DIFFICULT and IS STILL GOING TO BE DIFFICULT. That’s all I can say. It takes a lot of courage and faith to come up with a life changing decision. This isn’t any kind of joke. This is something serious that will hopefully make a difference in my life. This is about me building a better and brighter future. This is about me fulfilling my dreams and reaching my goals in life. This is about me proving to myself that I can be better than what I expected myself to be.
The moment my Tito offered to me the opportunity to study and eventually work in Australia, 60% of myself was firm on saying yes. The other 40% was dealing with the hardest part – FEAR. Not all nurses are offered such chances in life and I am one of the lucky ones to be presented with one. Kumbaga sa commercial, “Eto na ang break mo.” I mean, there’s no harm in trying, right? Just like what my mentors (friends. Yees, mentors :)) say, “You can always go back if ever things don’t fall into place.” I know it’s going to be hard and will almost feel like giving up, but in the end it will all come down to the reason WHY you wanted this in the first place.
This has been a struggle for me. I failed my IELTS exam twice and I am not embarrassed of it. Flunking my IELTS taught me how to accept failures and not to take things for granted. Kung feeling mo easy lang, well hindi. You'll be surprised at how hard things can be. It also taught me not to believe in signs (“Baka sign na hindi para sa akin tong Australia”). Thanks to Vincent who was always there to support, motivate and give me words of wisdom. He'd pull me up when I'm at the verge of falling. He has been a huge part of this challenge in my life. THANK YOU! :)
From application to passing IELTS and now finally waiting for my departure, I believe that this has been God’s way of saying, “Go my child, you shall not fear for I have prepared everything for you.”
I believe one of the many reasons why my Paps left us so soon is because he wanted us to be INDEPENDENT. If he were here, we would completely rely on him. His passing away gave me strength to do all of this. I want him to be proud of me and of who I can be. So Paps! Eto na oh, paalis na ako. I know you’re happy for me. Samahan mo ako, okay? :)
Hai, I’ll miss everyone! It hurts me that I needed to choose between my career and family/friends/loved one. It hurts me so much I feel like crying every time I think of it. Ang hirap hirap talga. I just hope my prayers are heard by God. I pray that all my sacrifices are worth it. I pray that this is for me.
Thanks to those who became part of this phase in my life. I feel your love with me through your words of encouragement and support. I could not have done this alone. Please keep in touch with me okay? I LOVE YOU ALL. <3
So, I guess this is it. It’s time to face a new challenge. It’s going to be hard, that’s for sure. New country, new life, new friends, new culture, new environment. There’s no doubt there will be lots of dull, emo and unhappy moments but technology will keep us together right? So paano, FB and chat nalang? I need your motivations especially on my down times. Please send me one from time to time. I’d appreciate it! :)
“I chose to be a risk taker.” Quoted from my Ate’s blog that touched me. It is then that I realized we really are sisters and that we were raised to be strong and confident. I pray that she finds her future in SG. :)
At 23, I have evolved into a fighter and yes, a risk taker. I don’t know where all the confidence is coming from. All I know is I have Vincent, my family, my friends and God with me in this fight. :)
PS. There’s only one thing I promised myself – KAYA KO ‘TO!!
Let Your will be done.
Photos by me and from Tumblr.
Love, Biancs
8 comments
I'm happy for you Bianx!!!
ReplyDeleteYey! aabutan pa kita!
Kaya mo yan Bianx STRONG ka naman eh!
Hop with the Kangroos for me Moyt! = D
Tight hugs & sloppy Kisses! = D
---Ross
HAHAHA Natawa ako sa 'moyt'! "Hey, moyt!" :) Kelan ka ba dadating? Sa July 6 na alis ko. Sa 9 ka pa dadating diba?
ReplyDeleteSloppy kiss for you! :D
Wow! Bilib ako sayo biancs! :) Gob bless. May God be with you every step of the way.
ReplyDelete- cherry
Cherry! THANK YOU!! I know He is, always. Konting tiis lang. :)
ReplyDeleteAno aaralin mo ron?
ReplyDeleteOH MYYY Ate Biancaaa! For real na ba talaga to? Makapagsign-in na nga sa Skype HAHA Update mo lagi tong blog mo ah para in case na magdeactivate ako ng FB, updated pa rin ako sa'yo. I will miss youuu! >:D< :*
ReplyDeleteYES for real na talga! :( Yup gumawa ka na ng Skype at magvideo call tayo. Hehe. Yup update ko to lagi pero bakit ka naman magdedeactivate ng FB?
ReplyDeleteI'll miss you too! See you on Sunday! :)
teary eyed. God never fails :) love and miss you!
ReplyDelete-Kim