Mother’s day is usually a come-and-go event for me, but this year is different (Well, everything this year is unusual). Being away from my mom for 10 months now makes me miss her every single day. I used to see her everyday and there’s just nothing special about it, really. The saying ‘You took everything for granted’ applies to me now.

In a span of 10 months, I have learned to grow, to come out of my shell and to just value what’s there in every waking days I have. One of the paramount realizations that I have so far is the fact that I am in constant desire to be with my mom.

All of these I could have done, or could have been doing if I were back home. Our long distance relationship is making our mother-daughter connection stronger. Ten months have passed and all it did was prove how lucky and in love I am to have ‘Baby girl’ as my mom. What’s more? I now learned to say ‘I love you’ to her, not in letters but through words after Facetime-ing with her. Haha. :)

There’s so much to say and to reminisce of but it will all just make me miss her more. I am sure that each one of us has stories to share. Coming from a run-away child (or not haha), spend each day of your life loving and caring for your mothers. Don’t take them for granted because they NEVER took you for granted. They are the reason why we were born in this wonderful world. They are the ones, with the help of our fathers, who made us who we are right now. Amongst anything else in this planet, mothers are the most wonderful creatures ever made!

Happy Mother’s day, Baby girl! I love and miss you. You know how much you mean to me. I’ll see you SOON! J

Napalayong bata sa ina,

B. 

There comes a time in your life when you just feel like quitting. The feeling of getting exhausted with everything that has to be done but there’s just so little time.  Parang nakikipaghabulan ka sa oras and all you just want to do is to get away from all the stress you’re going through.

My mind tells me to go on. To do this and do that, to finish this and start the other right after. My mind tells me I can do it, but sometimes my body just can’t. You know you are under stress when you lie on bed and try to get some sleep, and all of a sudden you cry. Maybe it’s a combination of stress and tiredness, or maybe my mind is under complete anxiety. Sometimes I think that it’s all in my mind, that I just think too much putting more pressure and stress on myself.

Right now, I am exhausted and worried for my future. Sometimes I ask myself, “Ano ba tong pinaggagagawa ko sa sarili ko.”

From now on, I will regain myself. I have always been optimistic (but sometimes you just fail) and I know that this is just a part of the challenge. I know that one day, every hardships and tears spent will pay off. I know that God is always beside me to give me strength. It’s hard to be away from family on times like these, but it’s good to have friends around. And thanks to cyber world, people I love are just a message away.

Haay. Few more steps and you’re done, B! I can do this!

*Photos from Tumblr*

Feeling down yet hopeful,

B.

Time has gone by so fast. Faster than what I expected it to be. Darkness fills the street at 6pm and temperature starts to drop at 17 degrees. This only means one thing; winter is right around the corner! It was winter when I first arrived in the Land Down Under. I can’t believe that I’ve been living here for almost a year now.  Everything went by quickly, and fortunately, according to how I pictured it to be.

Four months from now my visa will expire. At present, I have no idea what will happen to me. It’s either I get a job and stay here or fly back to the Philippines. I don’t know. Only God knows. I can feel the pressure now that I only have five more weeks to finish my lectures and assignments. After that, I need to complete few more weeks of placement and I’m officially done! Seriously, ang bilis nalang non!

I’m at that moment when you just want to do everything at the same time. Psychology ‘Juno’ essay, Ethics essay, Rationale Development Exercise, extra readings and placement. Just get it over with! Add to it my desire of earning money through my part-time jobs. If only I could do everything without risking myself of getting sick and having unfairly marks. Meron pa pala, the anxiety of trying to get a job after I finish Uni is so high. I have to compete with so many nursing students so as not to get myself deported back home without achieving anything after those months of hard work.

The pressure is ON.

One thing that gives me continuous strength for this fight is my faith in God (Apart from my family and loved ones, of course). I know He has planned everything for me in such a way that after the difficult times come success and happiness. I have so much faith that there’s a part of me that isn’t that scared and terrified. Besides, I wouldn’t have reached this far for nothing.

One thing’s for sure, no matter what happens in 4 months time I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE REGRETS for doing such a brave act.

Let Your will always be done.

*PS. I miss my Paps and everyone back home.*

*Photos from Tumblr*

Love,

B.